when someone really cute calls you cute first
sometimes i think i’m sassy and then i realize i’m just too sarcastic and borderline mean
you know when you try to keep yourself from sounding disappointed and then your voice does the wobbly thing and fuCK
Fuck up your sleeping schedule with me so i know it’s real.
So i have this giant pencil right
I think we all know where this is going.
the amount of people saying that they were expecting me to shove it up my ass is alarming
when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man
i have this crazy urge to txt you cause i miss you so much but then i remember you probably don’t miss me at all.
wow i need a drink [pours apple juice into shot glass]
hey i used to b uglier believe it or not
Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested