• parents: "schools easy"
  • me: "can you help me on this homework problem"
  • parents: "idk that shit its hard lmao"
  • earthdad:

    when someone really cute calls you cute first

    image

    astoundly:

    sometimes i think i’m sassy and then i realize i’m just too sarcastic and borderline mean

    phanphanphan:

    you know when you try to keep yourself from sounding disappointed and then your voice does the wobbly thing and fuCK

    onlypaintonthewall:

    Fuck up your sleeping schedule with me so i know it’s real. 

    nico-diangelcakes:

    nico-diangelcakes:

    So i have this giant pencil right

    image

    I think we all know where this is going.

    image

    the amount of people saying that they were expecting me to shove it up my ass is alarming

    ussawesome:

    when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man

    kaliforhnia:

    i have this crazy urge to txt you cause i miss you so much but then i remember you probably don’t miss me at all.

    quiffturner:

    wow i need a drink [pours apple juice into shot glass]

    rnackenzie:

    hey i used to b uglier believe it or not

    obamallamatime:

    Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested